Real Moms, Real Solutions: To Attend or Not Attend? The Dilemma of Children’s Birthday Parties

Should You RSVP Yay or Nay to All Those Children’s Birthdays?!

My son came home from school this week with the class news. At the bottom, there was a list of birthdays for September. There are 16 children in his preschool class and 3 children have birthdays in September. All I could think of were dollar signs! It’s only natural for parents to want to celebrate their child’s birthday with a party. However, that is when I start to feel the pressure of attending these events with my children.

In addition to thinking of these as joyous occasions, I also picture the cost of buying a gift, spending time shopping for the gift, giving up a Saturday afternoon attending the event, what if someone else buys the same gift, what if the child doesn’t like our gift, aahhh! I’m usually a positive person, so I had to rein in my negative thoughts and think about this rationally.

SO, I made a mental list of criteria for RSVP-ing yes:

• If the invitation is from a child my child mentions frequently (in a positive way), this might be a party we would attend. I want to foster positive friendships my children have and want to get to know their parents, in turn. A birthday party is a great way to meet the parents in a social setting and get to know them better.

• If the invitation comes from a child who my child has never mentioned or has spoken about in a negative way (let’s face it– we all learn pretty quickly the names of any children who are not nice or may cause trouble in school), I politely decline.

• I also might take into consideration the length of the party and location. We once received an invitation from a lovely child, but the party entailed driving a long distance and spending pretty much the whole day.

• The next issue is buying a gift. I often try and ask the parent if there is something in particular the child is interested in. That way I know I am spending money on something that will actually be used. Don’t go crazy—set a budget that you feel is reasonable and stick to it. Look for toys or items that might be on sale so that you are not spending tons of money on a child’s birthday gift. For school age children, have your own child make the card. That saves you $3-$6 right there! The truth is that kids care about the gift they receive, not the card.

So, with some of the pressure off, take the advice I gave myself. Enjoy these fun times with your children. Who knows—you might meet another parent there and make a new friend!
 
 
Meet The Bella Behind the Blog: Kristen Farley is a mother of three and a domestic goddess. She is a former teacher who enjoys spending lots of time with her kids, healthy eating, volunteering at school, and mommy blogging for the masses.

Be on the lookout for more of Kristen’s expert advice in our “Real Moms, Real Solutions” series!