You Shouldn’t Rely On Your Partner For Everything

Bella Breakdown

It can be easy to lean on our SOs for a lot of things. They make us feel safe, loved, warm, and in a lot of instances they can provide an escape from some harsh realities like loneliness. However, if you’re relying on your partner too much, it can be a detriment to both you and your relationship.

“A healthy, stable relationship has an interplay between independence and interdependence, between ‘me’ and ‘us,'” relationship therapist Rhonda Milrad, LCSW, told Bustle. “Your partner can’t provide all the things that you need, and if you put them in the position of having to, before long, resentments grow on both sides. In time, you lose yourself in the relationship, feeling helpless and powerless to embody your own life. Consequently, it is imperative to figure out how to meet some of your own needs and be a partner whose well-developed sense of self enriches the relationship.”

1. Decision Making

If you’re indecisive, like me, it can be easy to defer to your partner all the time. But make sure you are speaking up for yourself and making your own choices in the relationship. If it goes too far, you may eventually feel like you’ve lost control over a lot of aspects of your life.

2. Intimacy

Intimacy can be very powerful with a specific person, but you shouldn’t rely completely on your partner for this. Intimacy may mean fostering connections with friends and family, or even taking time to yourself to explore your sexual and emotional needs. You come first, and it’s important to focus on your needs above all.

3. Self Esteem

Partners are great for helping you feel good about yourself, or giving you a compliment when you’re feeling down, but you shouldn’t need their pep talks all the time. Find other ways to boost your self esteem, and work on self love practices to balance a healthy relationship with yourself, which is critical before diving into any other relationship.