Line your tray: Cover a baking sheet with parchment paper. Have your toppings measured and sitting in small bowls nearby — once the chocolate is melted, everything moves fast.
Melt the dark chocolate: Combine it with half the oil in a microwave-safe bowl and heat in 20-second bursts, stirring between each, until smooth and glossy. A double boiler works just as well if you'd rather skip the microwave.
Pour and spread: Pour the melted dark chocolate onto the lined tray and spread it into a rough rectangle about a quarter-inch thick, roughly 9x12 inches. Perfect edges are not the goal here.
Melt the white chocolate: Repeat the melting process in a separate bowl with the remaining oil.
Swirl: Spoon dollops of white chocolate over the dark base, then drag a toothpick or skewer through both in loose figure-eights to create a marbled pattern. Two or three passes is plenty — overmixing muddies the contrast.
Scatter the confetti: While the chocolate is still wet, sprinkle the freeze-dried fruit, coconut, pistachios, sea salt, and sprinkles over the top. Press gently so everything sticks.
Chill until firm: Refrigerate for about 30 minutes, or freeze for 15, until the bark is completely set and snaps cleanly when tapped.
Break it apart: Lift the whole slab off the parchment and snap it into irregular shards with your hands. Uneven pieces are part of the look.