Combating Sibling Rivalry – Turn Fighters Into Friends

How top Put a Ceasefire on Sibling Rivalry!

Stop fighting! Share with your sister! If you are like me, you find yourself saying (or yelling) these phrases often. My research for this topic has been a personal one, as I have struggled with this issue with my own children. I wanted to find some answers for how to teach my children to be kind to each other and to share (at least a good amount of the time).

The first thing you can do is to monitor your own tone and manner of speaking to others, including your spouse and children. Do you tend to yell and be aggressive in order to resolve conflict? Do you shout and slam doors to make your point? The tone that you set in the home influences how your children treat one another. Make a point of speaking respectfully to your spouse and children. You can still get your point across without being mean or aggressive.

When an argument is happening between your children that is out of control, take the time to stop what you were doing and address them directly. Get down to their level and speak to them in a firm and confident voice. If you are busy, it is easy to scream from another room to tell your children to be quiet or to stop fighting. However, this is not as effective as speaking with eye contact in a firm and calm way.

Practice and learn. Read children’s books about how to interact with each other. It could be a silly book about how children are not behaving properly and then you can show examples or role-play examples of how to interact in a respectful way. One book I love is called Mother Goose Manners by Harriet Ziefert. It teaches a lesson based on how the characters are behaving in the nursery rhymes.

Keep your children busy. I am not talking about over-scheduling them, but just letting them out to play, run around, and be kids. If they are allowed to get outside and run off their energy by playing at the playground, they will be less inclined to take out that energy on driving each other crazy. Frame things in a positive way. Instead of constantly saying don’t do this and don’t do that, give instructions as how you want them to be done.

Set up ground rules, as well as consequences when the rules are broken. This shows that they are required to be responsible for their own behavior when they do not act properly.

Finally, don’t feel bad about taking a time out for yourself if you find yourself feeling out of control as well. This would show a good example for your children on way to handle their own feelings of anger or frustration. Everyone needs some quiet time to cool off once in awhile.
 
 
Meet The Bella Behind the Blog: Kristen Farley is a mother of three and a domestic goddess. She is a former teacher who enjoys spending lots of time with her kids, healthy eating, volunteering at school, and mommy blogging for the masses.

Be on the lookout for more of Kristen’s expert advice and brillent tips!