Though the question of babies isn’t reserved for women only, it’s no secret that men can avoid it for much longer. When people ask couples about their baby plans, they are looking at a woman. The question is personal, and there are additional reasons why you should never ask a woman about the state of her womb. Because asking about a potential baby is just that: checking if anything is going on down there.
Not all women want to have children. Yes, that’s the truth, and many people refuse to believe it. They say it’s unnatural, or that they are just going through a phase, and worse. Even if someone accepts that a woman doesn’t want to have kids, there’s that famous question: “Why?” Do you need a reason or you’re just trying to prove that she might change her mind? Why? Because not all women think or feel the same. Being childfree has many advantages, and some couples or women, in particular, are in love with their lives as they are. Call them selfish, or whatever it is popular these days, it’s a choice.
Many couples, as well as single ladies, struggle with fertility. These people went through miscarriages, hormonal therapies, IVF. And failed to get pregnant. So that seemingly innocent question can bring a lot of pain and grief to a person or a couple. This isn’t a matter of choice, but nothing in our lives is quarantined.
Having a baby or babies should not be seen as an achievement. Creating a decent human being out of that baby is. Not all parents deserve to be called parents. And not all women need babies to live their best lives. If you think that this isn’t a major feminist issue, just check out bump watches in tabloids. Every female celebrity goes through that, and it feeds that misogynistic narrative that all women need to have kids. How many times have you read that Jennifer Aniston is pregnant? Poor woman can’t even have a proper lunch without paparazzi zooming at the stomach.
Without future ado, we need to be creating boundaries. They go way beyond physical touch and may cause even more severe damage. There’s something rather powerful in that saying, “live and let live.” Think about it, and the next time you’re about to ask, “When are you to have a child?” just rewind and talk about something less private.