Bella Breakdown

We have believed for a long time, that ultimatums in relationships are a death wish; that it is a sign things are coming to an end. It seems that it is time to dump that notion. Ultimatums, if presented in the appropriate manner can actually help a relationship. Ultimatums should be utilized to stop behavior you will not tolerate in a relationship. If your partner is having jealous, controlling, and just generally bad behavior, an ultimatum can be appropriate to open a discussion about how that behavior will not be tolerated.

It is important that when you present an ultimatum to your partner, you’re doing it with the right intentions. You are clearly stating, “hey this needs to change because I feel it is damaging to myself and my participation in this relationship, or else I have to take myself out of the equation”. It is important that the ultimatum is not used to control someone else, but rather to establish appropriate boundaries. Ultimatums should be brought up in a calm, well thought out manner, as opposed to a reaction to a fight.

Ultimatums can be a form of self-care. You are putting your worth and value ahead of someone else’s bad relationship behavior. Do not fear the ultimatum, rather utilize it in a genuine manner that puts your true feelings at the forefronts, and hopefully creates a more honest communicative relationship.