The 5 Phases of Online Dating

Bella Breakdown

Phase 1: Consult Your Friends – Where are all your girlfriends finding all these dates they’re going on? We’ll give you a hint, online! If your social circle is dating up a storm, odds are there’s one or many apps and sites behind it. The best way to find out? Ask them!

Phase 2: Drink Wine and Make a Profile – Writing about yourself to your potential mate definitely required at least half a bottle of cab sauv. Is the internet the place to be picky and elaborate all your romantic fantasies? Well yes, but not on your online dating profile!

Phase 3: Avoid Getting Matched with Coworkers – So if everyone in your world is dating, you’re probably working with some of them already. Awkward! Just say no, they’ll get it, and if they don’t, you wouldn’t want to be dating them anyway.

Phase 4: Go on a Series of Terrible Dates – It takes all kinds, and by that, we mean the worst kinds. Online dating brings people out from their apartment that maybe would have been best left alone, so take their cue and throw those ones back into the pond.

Phase 5: Cancel Your Account & Try Your Luck in Real Life – Well online wasn’t working anyway so best go back to the good old fashioned real-life romantic right? Well, good luck with that, the other half of that bottle of red wine will be waiting for you at home.