Mommy Wars: Why They Exist & Why Nobody Really Wins
Mothers experience so much pressure to be perfect from family, employers, and complete strangers, so why put even more pressure on ourselves by constantly judging and criticizing each other?!
The Truth About Mommy Wars
Some people think it’s funny to joke about stay at home moms – they sit around watching soap operas and eating bonbons all day. The opposite commentary is about the working mom who doesn’t know what her kids’ favorite foods are because they are raised by nannies. This nasty talk has been called “Mommy Wars” by the media. I understand how both sides feel about this negativity. I have been both an exclusively stay-at-home mom, as well as a “working” mom. While most of us agree that being a mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world, many say things to degrade others’ decisions. Rather than rallying for each other, we should be supporting one another. Here are some ways we can turn this negativity into something constructive.
How to Avoid Getting Caught In The Crossfire
Firstly, try not to feel guilty. I know this is easier said than done, but mentally beating yourself up for the difficult life decisions you have to make is not productive. Surround yourself with positive people who respect you and your choices.
Find the best balance that works for you and your family. For me, that is working part time from home. I can feel like I am contributing to our family income, while also being around for my children in ways I couldn’t if I was working full time. You might need to assess whether you need to sacrifice something financial in order to be home more (perhaps brown-bagging your lunch in order to cut down on a few hours of work).
Make the most of your time with your children. Whether you are a stay-at-home mom, or working full-time, carve out quality time with your kids. Whether it’s reading a nightly bedtime story, or weekend trips to the playground, take a break from the computer, phone, dishes, and laundry, and just spend quality time with your kids.
Here’s a great saying to remember when the days get harsh and the judgement seems to be mounting!
Ask for help. If you have family or someone else who helps to watch your children, ask if they could run a load of laundry while your child is napping. If you work full time, and your spouse does as well, make sure the chores at home are divided fairly. If your children are old enough, have them chip in. Every little bit helps.
The bottom line is that we moms should be supporting each other, not fighting about who is “doing it right”. When it comes down to it, we all want the best for our children. Rather than judging your friends, tell them you admire how hard they work- no matter what their “job” is!
Meet The Bella Behind the Blog: Kristen Farley is a mother of three and a domestic goddess. She is a former teacher who enjoys spending lots of time with her kids, healthy eating, volunteering at school, and mommy blogging for the masses.
Be on the lookout for more of Kristen’s expert advice and brillent tips!
