So You Want To Take The Next Step… But Your Partner Doesn’t

Bella Breakdown

I’ve been in this situation a couple times now. I’m super excited about the state of my relationship, I’m in love, and I want to move in with my partner. It’s not a crazy idea, in my opinion.

I mean what’s the point of paying two rents and constantly traveling between two places when you could just live together? I fully acknowledge that it is a big step, and one you have to be ready for, so I’ve come up with a few points for you and your SO to talk about when having this discussion.

Is It Just About the Money?
If your main reason for moving in together is the idea that you could save money or maybe time on your morning commute, that’s not a valid reason to make the leap. Consider whether you would move in together even if it meant an increase in rent, or an extra 10 minutes on the drive home, do you still want to do it?

What Are His or Her Reasons For Saying No?
If your SO is just flat out saying no to moving in together, start a conversation and ask why. It’s a completely valid discussion, and if you both want the relationship to last, it’s important to be open about these things. I used to just take no for an answer, but there are two people in the relationship and you deserve an explanation. Do they just not want to give up their privacy? Do they think it will make them less “manly”? Is it because you snore? Whatever the reason, talk about it.

Separate Bedrooms = A Happy Couple
This may sound odd, but I’m telling you, having separate bedrooms, especially when you first move in together, can be a life saver. You can each have your separate places to decorate and call your own, and when you need some alone time, it’s a quiet, safe space. Bring this option up with your SO and see if there’s room in your budget to make it work.