How Do You Unpack Your Emotional Baggage? Experts Weigh In…

We as human beings, having had grown up, gone through rejection, gone through heartbreak, suffered severely traumatic experiences can’t help but procure some emotional baggage. It’s just part of life. We then bring that baggage into new situations and experiences (particularly relationships) where we can’t help but be triggered by behaviors or actions committed by our partners.

First and foremost it’s important to acknowledge your baggage, and be upfront about why things make you feel the way they do. It’s also important to know how to “unpack” it, as suggested by psychologist Dr. Sue Varma and psychotherapist Kelley Kitley who appeared on “Megyn Kelly Today”. Dr. Varma suggests that when we are unable to unpack our emotional baggage, we remain stagnant, and unable to stray from the relationships that continue to hurt us over and over again.

Both women are cognitive, behavioral therapists, who focus on the power thoughts have over our actions. Ruminating on certain negative thoughts force us to stay in negative situations. They express the importance of keeping your thoughts in the present and avoid dwelling on past situations, or worrying about all of the “what if” situations in the future. It’s important to be pragmatic when a negative thought does pop up in our heads. Dr. Varma suggests to ask yourself, is worry about this going to do anything for me? What are the odds that this negative though is going to adversely affect me? And, is there another reason this certain situation is happening that does not have to do with me?

We are only human, there will be times when we are down on ourselves about love and relationships, but it’s important to remember that we are in control of our own thoughts and actions. This power can ultimately alter the overall situation at hand.